Things have been extremely busy lately and I haven't had the time to do any blogging. Summer time is here and when we have any free time, we enjoy the pool. Matthew is getting too big and it makes me sad that I don't have any babies anymore. (although, they will always be my babies) I have to tell you that in my life lately everything seems confusing. I know everyone knows what happened to my brother and what my family has been dealing with lately. I can't tell you the pain that is surrounding my family. I guess I needed to vent a little and figured you guys wouldn't mind. Duirng this time, people say that, in time, it will get better. I have to disagree with that these days because it has only gotten worse. We are broken right now and wonder when then pain will lessen. I miss Hank so much and it hurts me so bad that his girls won't jave him to grow old with. Life, I have learned, is just not fair. I wonder why things happen the way they do and I know we are not supposed to question "WHY" but that question lingers in mind all the time these days. Hank's oldest daughter asked me Sunday, "Why do we have to go to the cemetary for Father's Day and visit daddy?" I had to pause and really dig deep to come up with something to tell this innocent child looking at me with such hurt. I told her that we only go out to the cemetary to take flowers to daddy. We can talk to daddy all the time in our heart, any time and any place. We have to have a place that is designated for him and for others to go take flowers and talk to him. I told her to always remember that he never leaves her heart and whenever she needs to talk to him, he is right there. She also told me that she had planned his birthday party and all the details for it. His birthday is on August 17th and she wants to have a pool party for him with chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting on them. She had all the details planned for the party. I just find it so unfair that we have to continue on without him but for the sake of his girls, we have to make sure that he lives on. I know that I have taken up enough time venting and I appreciate it!!!! Thanks....... 
3 comments:
Hi Katherine...Muriel Chandler here. I am so sorry to hear about Hank's death. I just found your blog through Tanya's and wanted you to know that I was thinking of you. Losing a brother is awful, as you now know. It has been 9 years since Rod died and 5 since Andy died...I am still angry, confused, and completely devastated at times. I try so hard to make sense of what happened and sometimes the pain is less and sometimes more. I guess I just wanted you to know that I somewhat understand your pain, that you should know you are not alone. Hang in there!
Catherine,
I think when there is a loss before normal time (a child, a young father, etc.) it's so very normal to question it. It's just awful what happened. And in 10 years it's still gonna be just awful. I can't even begin to imagine what you all are going through and what his wife and children are going through. Just know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
I was at the cemetary over father's day putting new flowers on my dad's grave and I thought about Hank's children and you all.
I will continue to think and pray for you all. If you need anything, please let me know.
I am never good at responding to this topic. I always seem to put my foot in my mouth. All I want you to know is that I think of you often and love you very much. I can't imagine what you are going through. You are such a inspiring person and your conversation with you neice was beautiful You are a great person with words(you hold the weight of everyone else) I think it is one of your amazing gifts. You have helped me more than you will ever know with our conversations. Especially on our last girls trip talking about my sister. You are one amazing Mother and Friend! Just thought I would let you know how much you are loved! Hang in there! Wish you were closer! Can't wait till our next girl trip!
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